Beware of the Grown-Boy

Just to be clear I'm no relationship expert but I was inspired to write this post based off  several conversations I've had with various young women. They have encountered the "Grown Boy" and after the experience are left angry, confused and analyzing themselves.

By Definition: A Grown-Boy is a man who appears physically to be grown. Whose age is of a adult but his actions are of a boy.  

What's unfortunate after dealing with a grown-boy a lot of times we think something is wrong with us and I'm here to tell you IT'S NOT! It's them! So be happy this happened and take this opportunity to learn from it. 

Here are a few things to think about going forward....

A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.

A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.

A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly about physical attributes.

A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family or another purpose or passion.  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.

A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.

A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get bruised. 

A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.

Simply put: A boy plays games. A man doesn’t. 

My Advice: Don't beat yourself up about what happened. Take time to evaluate the situation and your feelings. Everything is a learning experience -- once you know better you will do better. Be selective with who you spend your time with and who you let in your life.

PROTECT YOUR MAGIC

Photo Credits: Sara Stathas and Trent Shelton